eGroups are collections of people subscribed to a
common (discussion list) address. When one member
sends an eMail message to the eGroup address, it
is automatically sent to everyone else on the
list. As subscribers open and read their eMail,
discussion threads take shape with additional
posts and replies. The attraction of eGroups is
the ability to join in at your convenience as
opposed to the confinement of live chat rooms.

There are hundreds of thousands of eGroups in
cyberspace and their purpose is not all social.
Many trade associations and industry groups use
them for communication and idea sharing.


OOPS

Almost daily, a well meaning eMail discussion
group (eGroup) subscriber pushes the WRONG button
and the world sees a reply that was meant to be a
private message for one.

It is an easy trap. Most eMail users embrace the
convenience of the REPLY button and have used it
many times with no backlash. A typical eGroup
message shows the sender's name on the screen,
just like a direct eMail, but the actual "sent
from" address is the eGroup server. Using REPLY
appears to be the natural way to reply directly to
the sender. WRONG.

For example a post might ask "Does anyone know Bif
and Buffy down at the Twist and Shout? I'm
thinking about going to work for them." The
biggest eMail Discussion Group error (and the most
embarrassing) are replies sent to the whole group
(via the reply button) instead of a private
message to the person who sent the post.

Hitting reply to the Bif and Buffy question and
answering "they are NOT nice people. They can't
keep a staff and the IRS is all over them and I
heard Buffy has a drug problem.." can be more than
embarrassing as everyone on the list reads the
reply instead of just the sender. The solution is
to send a private response to the question,
specifically addressed to the sender, far away
from the eGroup address.


eGroup REPLY Goes To Everyone

To send a private message you MUST address it
yourself or pull the address from your address
book.

This is doubly difficult because the address of
the sender is usually not easily found. Forget
about looking in your eMail address book if the
eGroup is a large one (many have hundreds even
thousands of subscribers). So you have to pick
through the IP headers in the message and sort out
the actual sender from the eGroup sender.

Even more frustrating is that most eMail programs
are set by default to NOT DISPLAY all that header
stuff. Before you can go looking you must sift
through the commands to find how to "display all
headers". There's a spot on the web that has instructions
for finding the headers in almost 40 different eMail
programs, including web-based eMail.
http://www.abika.com/Reports/Samples/emailheaderguide.htm

If you are lucky, the poster has used a SIG file
to automatically put his/her eMail address at the
end of every message (away from the header). If
the eMail address is displayed with the mailto:
option, all you do is click on the mailto: address
and your eMail program will automatically address
a blank message to that address. Don't get your
hopes up: less than 21% of eGroup members have
and/or use a SIG file.


Avoid the ULTIMATE EMBARRASSMENT

There are a number of ways to avoid sending the
RIGHT message to the WRONG people. First and
foremost, you must learn to use restraint. Keep
your emotions in tow. Once you press the SEND
button, there is no turning back. Don’t say
anything in ANY eMail message you would not say
face to face. Don’t say something to one person
about another that you would not say to the other
face to face. If you make a disparaging remark and
press the wrong button, the person defamed can
read it, too.

If you read an eGroup post that strikes you as
just a little too critical, or one you think seems
a little too offensive, chances are that you're
misinterpreting the intent of the sender. Perhaps
a message that you are taking seriously was
intended to be taken sarcastically!

Haste-Before-Send will only serve to dump fuel on
a fire of what could potentially become a "flame
war," with combatants engaging in pointless verbal
warfare, usually as the result of a misinterpreted
message or an undiscriminating author. Or worse,
destroy a relationship or relationships. Worse
yet, get you embroiled in a legal tangle with
words like "libel" and "slander" bantered about.
You can train yourself to use restraint.


            Make a rule!
     NEVER USE REPLY IN AN eGROUP
       Always Send a NEW Message

With this rule in place, you will always have a
choice of sending your message to the entire group
or just the sender. You make the decision when
you select the TO address. You can't make that
decision when you use REPLY.


Compose Off-Line

Develop the habit of writing your eMail messages
off-line (use your word processor). This
eliminates the sub-conscious need for speed (the
line is open, hurry-hurry). Copy and paste the
entire message that deserves your reply into your
word processor as the base for your reply. Delete
most of it as you form your reply, leaving enough
of the original eMail in your newly composed
message to tie yours to the original. Once ready
to send, you can highlight and save the message to
the clipboard (CTRL+A then CTRL+C) and paste it
into your eMail message space (CTRL+V). This gives
you even more time to ponder any venting in your
reply.


Use The Queue

Do even more by telling your eMail program to put
all outgoing messages in a queue. When you press
SEND the messages are stacked up to be sent at a
predetermined time (every so many minutes, or when
you close or open your program). The queue gives
you a last chance to change your mind.

In Outlook Express (the most popular eMail program
because.. "it came with the computer") you can
turn on the queue by clicking on TOOLS then
OPTIONS then SEND and UNCHECK the SEND MESSAGES
IMMEDIATELY box. Other eMail programs have similar
commands.


Always use a SIG

You can make it easy for people to reply to your
message without using the reply button by creating
a SIG (signature) file for every outgoing message.
One to five lines. Look int he HELP section of
your eMail program.

You can read all about how to create signature
files in a free article written by me and posted
on many websites. Get your own free copy by
sending a blank eMail to my Idea Robot (Idea-Bot).
You get the detailed steps to create your own SIG
file for all the popular eMail programs.
mailto:SigFile@BigIdeasGroup.com

Be sure the SIG file you create includes your name
and eMail address and a mailto: command. Just type
mailto: before your address and hit enter at the
end of your address to make it work. Putting a
mailto: in your SIG file will assure anyone who
wants to reply to you will do so with a private
message addressed only to you and not the entire
discussion group

Go ahead and try it, click on my mailto: command
and see how it opens a blank eMail message already
addressed for you to get the SIG file article
mailto:SigFile@BigIdeasGroup.com

If you design a generic signature file, with your
eMail address, it can be used for all your eMail,
not just those posts to discussion groups. Some
eMail programs let you have multiple SIGs, using
one as the default, unless you specify another for
a single message

Train yourself to NEVER use reply, you can avoid
the embarrassment of sending the right message to
the wrong people, or sending a message filled with
flames.


                FREE eWorkshop

You can subscribe to an eWorkshop on the efficient
use of eMail. This series of seven workshops is
totally free. Each week you will receive another
eWorkshop to help you become more efficient with
eMail.

This eWorshop was created for those unable to
attend my live "7 eMail Habits of Highly Effective
People" live stage presentation. Feel free to
offer this series of eWorkshops to friends and
colleagues. To subscribe, use my mailto: link to
send a blank eMail.
mailto:7habits@sendfree.com