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No Bad Dates!
Copyright 2004, Devlyn Steele
"Successful Dating"
Do a Google search for "dates from hell", and you just might
crash their servers. There are tons of websites devoted to
subject. One described a guy who talked about his ex-girlfriend
all night, then drove by his ex's house a few times because he
was "concerned for her welfare". Another told the story of a
girl who made another date for later that evening, over her cell
phone, during dinner. I'm sure you have a few war stories of
your own. You know what I think?
There are no bad dates.
"No bad dates??" you'd tell me. "You've obviously never spent
an evening with Mr/Ms. X who thought the silverware was speaking
to them…in Klingon". Maybe not, but so long as you were not in
any danger or got hurt in any way, it wasn't that bad. It
probably only lasted a few hours, and you must have found some
humor in that person across the table, waiting for the
mothership. Cross Captain Kirk off of your list and chalk
it up to a learning experience.
The important thing is to not get discouraged and give up on
dating completely. Stick with it, and keep looking to make
that connection. Here are three quick tips:
Release yourself from expectation.
Never "expect" your date to be "the one", no matter how cute or
nice they are initially. You set the date up to be a disaster
by your unrealistic expectations. It creates undue pressure
and leads you on a scavenger hunt for faults in the other
person. Relax, enjoy the process, and don't focus on an
"end result" that you have invented for yourself.
It's all about attitude! Your mindset is what determines the
quality of any experience. If you approach your date with a
good attitude, there are no bad dates. Each experience is a
step towards finding the person that is right for you.
Go out on as many dates as possible.
The way to that right person is through a lot of not-the-right
persons. The more dates you have, the more opportunities you
make for yourself. Mr. or Ms. Right will not come knocking on
your door while you are watching TV. Date, date and then date
some more, the process is the answer.
Meet many people that might be possible dates.
A positive dating attitude gives you endless opportunities to
meet the right person.
Don't rule out any method or avenue, and try them all: speed
date, people at the gym, through friends, or online - even
Aunt Millie's set up. Do it all!
The Internet is fast becoming one of the best and most accepted
ways to meet people. They call it online dating, but it should
really be called online meeting, since you don't actually date
until you physically get together. It is, however, a melting
pot of interesting people and opportunities. There are ways to
meet people online safely and with great success! Go to The
http://RealtionshipTools.com and get your free book, "Tools to
Online Dating" and become a successful dater with no bad dates!
Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") has been a public
consultant and a private counselor for over 15 years. A Cognitive
Therapist, Radio host and Columnist, Devlyn maintains a thriving
practice in Hollywood, where he counsels famous actors, musicians
and captains of industry. His new book, Relationship Tools, will
be available soon. You can hear Coach Steele live every Tuesday
on LoveBeat Radio 1310 KXAM.com 7-9 PM. Arizona Time. Visit his
website at http://www.toolstolife.com/
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